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Concerned Christians
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Michael's Testimony

I was saved by the Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ
It was not something I merit, or could ever deserve, but a gift!

It is very hard to make a clear concise statement of how I became a Christian. You have to understand where I came from, and why I thought like I did to understand the great change that has been worked in my life.

I wasn't a by-the-book mormon. My parents chose the mormon church when I was young. It was not based on logic or faith, but on self interest. Their philosophy was "there is a church for every vice, or hangup", and so if you wanted to do drugs, or sleep around, or drink, you could go to the church that said it was "ok". My parents hangup was "kids" and so they chose the mormon church.

They had a very rocky relationship and some very bad personal problems. They broke up every year or two for the ten years they were together. They had a terrible breakup when I was 12. My fathers drug use, and abuse were bad. He sexually assulted my 7 year old sister veronica, beat up my little brothers and threatened to kill them My mother wanted to divorce him and have her temple recomend canceled. I really cared for my family. Somehow I hoped that we would all "get through".

When my sister veronica was 16 she was sexually assulted again. When that happened I reached a real crisis of belief. I knew that "God" did not want to let bad things like this happen, and I thought to myself "How can an all powerful good God allow bad things like this to happen? Hasn't enough stuff happened already?!? At what point in wrong does my loving father in heaven start intervening. That rape just crushed my sister. I look at it like she was a figurine sculpture, like you can buy in a mall. And when it happened it took her and shattered her against the floor. She could be glued together, but wouldnt never be the same. I hated God for that.

I spent many years angry with God. If that was what he did, I wanted little to do with him. I preferred to "be good", and "do the best I can". I finally reached a point where my old life ended. I just couldnt do it anymore. I had nothing.

A friend of mine who I knew in high school invited me to Phoenix, and a job. I moved here with a backpack. I got a place to live and a car. I worked for him for a while until he invited me to a silly play called "Heavens Gates and Hells Flames" at a silly little christian church like the kind I had seen a thousand times before. While I was there I was reminded about my relationship with God. I thought in my heart "I have nothing". Something in what I saw touched my heart. When I went up to pray I told the lady "I think im going to hell and I dont want to go".

I challenged Jesus Christ to change my life. I had done all I could with it, and I doubted he could to better. I asked him into my heart and life. I believed. My life has been changed drastically. I could talk a long time about exactly what has happened in my life, but It would take a very long time. The results are pretty simple, and were totally unexpected.

I have faith, not in something someone else decided to believe in, or something I created. I know that Jesus Christ is alive. My life is different. I know that the Lord is working in my life, and though I dont always understand why I can see that he is faithful. He sticks to me though I dont stick as well to him.